Masturbation happens in every culture,
across every period of history, and it's the
way most adolescents discover what they
enjoy before embarking on adult sexual
relationships. However, if it's becoming an
obsession that inhibits other aspects of
your life, or you belong to a religion or
philosophy that forbids masturbation, then
it's possible to curb the impulse, gather
your self-discipline, and take control of your
urges.
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Find another outlet for your time
and energy. Fill your life with
engaging activities. The excitement of
doing something different can help
replace the urge to masturbate, and
you'll have a go-to distraction next time
you're tempted. Try some of these
options:
Be Creative . The process of turning
sexual urges into creative output
(called sublimation) is something
on which monks and sages have
relied upon for centuries. Start
writing, learn to play a musical
instrument, paint, draw, or do
whatever else makes you feel like
you're doing something productive.
Play Sports . It takes discipline and
persistence to excel at a sport.
Develop an interest like running or
swimming, or a group sport like
soccer, football, basketball, or
tennis. Also, any form of exercise
will help you relieve tension, feel
happier, and to make you focus on
your physicality in a positive way.
Yoga is another form of exercise
that can help you feel more relaxed
and less likely to feel the sudden
urge to masturbate.
Eat a Healthy Diet . Fruits and
vegetables have healthy effects on
the body and provide nutrients
necessary to increase your energy
to make you more active
throughout the day.
Find a new hobby, or cultivate a
skill . Learning something that
takes a while to master can refocus
your brain on the delayed
gratification of achieving goals
instead of the instant gratification
of masturbation. Try skills like
cooking, woodshop, archery,
baking, public speaking, or
gardening.
Volunteer your time . Devote your
energy to helping teens who've
been less fortunate than you, such
as working at a shelter, tutoring
low-income students, cleaning up
blighted areas, or raising money
for a good cause. You'll get an
altruistic feeling from helping
others, and you'll have less time to
stray from your goals.
Make a plan for avoiding
masturbation during your "go to"
times of day. If you have problems
before going to bed or in the shower,
refrain from any temptation to
masturbate. For instance, if it's a
problem late at night, drop to the floor
and do push-ups until you're too
exhausted to do anything but fall
asleep. If you find shower time too
tempting, start using ice cold water only
— you won't want to be in there for
long.
If you always masturbate when you
get home from school, make sure
to have a solid plan to stave off
any boredom you may feel. If you
have so little to do that your mind
frequently wanders to sexual
thoughts, occupy your schedule.
You'll find it gets easier to avoid
masturbation if you're too busy or
tired to spare any energy for
distractions.
If you're tempted to masturbate in
the morning, try to sleep with more
than just one layer of clothing so
touching yourself is more of an
effort.
Limit your solitude. If you
masturbate frequently because you
feel lonely, find ways to be as socially
engaged as possible. This means that
you should join as many clubs or
activities as you can, accept and give
more invitations to people, and go out
of your way to make more friends. If
you want to date someone, consider
asking a friend to set you up or join an
online dating site.
Another thing you can do is to
limit the times when you are likely
to be home alone. If you tend to
masturbate in the hour or two
before your parents get home from
work, go for a walk during that
time, or do your homework in a
coffee shop.
Even if all of your friends are busy,
you can still limit your impulse to
masturbate by going out in public.
For instance, instead of watching
the game at home by yourself,
watch it at a sports bar. Even if
you're not hanging out with
friends, you will not be alone,
ultimately having no time for
masturbation.
Stop watching porn on your
computer. One of the reasons you
may be masturbating so much is that
you know that you can access porn
within seconds if you want to. However,
if you don't have the willpower to stop
looking at the porn on your own, then
you may have to take other measures to
get the job done:
Consider installing porn-blocking
software on your computer. Of
course you will know the password
to bypass the blocking function,
but just having it pop up will
remind you of your priorities. You
can also type a random password
in a text file, copy and paste it
when you enter your password and
verify it, then delete the text file.
Then, you will not be able to know
the password of your own porn-
blocker. This is the best way to
keep you strong and spare you the
struggle.
If you have the tendency to
masturbate looking at porn on the
computer, try moving your
computer into a room where others
can see you.
If you have a physical collection of
porn, dispose of it ASAP.
Get Help. Porn addiction apps
such as Brainbuddy are designed
to rewire your brain so you crave
real connection instead of porn.
Be persistent and patient. Stopping
a masturbation addiction won't hit
you like a lightning bolt. It's a process
that requires commitment, and you
might make mistakes or relapse on
occasions. The real struggle is
persevering, so commit now that you
won't let little mistakes stand in your
way.
Set up a reward system. Bribe
yourself to stay on-track with
rewards for good behavior. For
instance, if you can go two whole
weeks without masturbating once,
treat yourself to a small
indulgence like a new game or an
ice cream cone.
Reward systems are great; just
make sure not to reward yourself
with the very thing you're trying to
conquer, which, in this case, is
masturbating. If you say that you'll
reward yourself with masturbation
after a week of not doing it, then
you'll only be turning masturbation
into something that you really,
really want even more.
Part One of Two:
Staying Busy and Focused
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Stop punishing yourself. Consider
it this way: if you're constantly
dwelling on the disapproval that some
may feel about masturbating, then
you're still thinking about masturbation
all the time. Don't just trade in your
masturbation addiction for another one
— they're so closely related that you
won't resolve anything. Instead,
acknowledge that this has been a
problem for you, but you will persevere
to stop the impulse.
Remember, you're human, and
humans masturbate. Some studies
show that up to 95% of males and
89% of females admit that they
have masturbated. [1] You'll feel
less shame once you realize you
are not alone.
Resist the urge of sinking into
despair by remembering the times
spent feeling sorry for yourself
when it could have been spent
relinquishing your addiction.
Don't believe the myths about the
harms of masturbation. If you want
to stop your masturbation addiction,
then you should do it for reasons that
are personal and moral, not for reasons
that are health-related. The only real
health problem that can be caused is
pain and rawness from chronic
masturbation, but that can go away if
you stop touching yourself so
frequently. Here are some things that
masturbation will not do to your body:
Masturbation will not cause
infertility, premature ejaculation, or
impotence.
Masturbation will not cause
insanity.
Masturbation will not cause
blindness, or even eye floaters.
Masturbation will not cause
frequent urination.
Know that it will get better. If you
have the faith that you can really
find a way to stop your masturbation
addiction, then you'll be able to do it.
Maybe your goal isn't to stop
masturbating completely, but just to
limit your masturbation to a healthy
amount, such as once or twice a day.
That's perfectly fine, too. If you have
the belief that you really can win this
battle, you'll be much more likely to
succeed than if you're constantly
second-guessing yourself.
That being said, there may be days
when you have relapses. If you find
yourself masturbating one day
when you planned not to, don't
think, "Oh, well, I've ruined this day
anyway," and then continue
compulsively masturbating for the
rest of the day and then starting
fresh the next. This is about as
logical as thinking that you should
eat an entire pie because you've
had one cookie and have ruined
your diet for the day anyway.
Know when to seek help. If you've
tried everything and just can't seem
to get your addiction under control, it
might be time to tell someone else
about your problem and ask for
assistance. Don't feel ashamed, and
remember that many people have
similar problems like an addiction.
Seeking help is a brave action, and
most people you ask will see it as such.
Ask your religious leader for
guidance. If you belong to a
church, consider asking your local
clergy for help. Keep three things
in mind: First, these people
become part of the clergy because
they're dedicated to helping their
congregations. Second, they've
probably already assisted someone
with a masturbation addiction
before. Lastly, they're bound by
strict confidentiality. Request a
private appointment with your
pastor, bishop, imam, rabbi, or
other religious leader, and see if
his or her advice can help you.
Make an appointment with a
medical professional. Counselors,
psychologists and psychiatrists are
all trained to help people with
varying levels of addiction. Start
by seeing a therapist in your area,
who can assess your addiction and
refer you to more specialized help
if necessary. Several treatment
options are available, from
cognitive-behavior therapy to
medication.
Part Two of Two:
Getting in the Right Mindset
Take your mind off it with (non-sexual)
music.
Set tiny goals for yourself, start with
going 3 days clean, the third day is the
speed bump, get past that and you KNOW
that you're committed. Then go a week,
then 10 days, then two weeks, then 17
days, etc.
Do exercise daily in the evening, this
will make you tired at night. And since
masturbation is often done at night, so
when you are exhausted, you will give
preference to sleep not to masturbation.
Avoid sitting on your bed. Use a table/
chair, and always sit with other people.
When the urge is very intense take a
cold shower! It is not only shown to calm
the mind but have many other benefits to
overall health and energy.
Think about your family or anyone else
and if they were watching you.
When you feel the need to masturbate,
take a brisk walk or jog. Always try to
occupy yourself when the urge arises.
Exercise more and get out of the
house. This is a great way to take your
mind off everything.
Try fasting. Abstain from food or drink
in a few hours everyday can distract your
mind from sexual urge. Fasting will also
act as a diet from stimulating food or
drink for a certain period. If you do it
regularly you will have better control upon
your urge.
If you come upon a certain thought,
urge, or your lustful thoughts come into
your mind, immediately think about a
different topic such as baseball, football,
etc.
Cultivate pure thoughts by reading holy
books like Bhagavad Gita, Bible, Holy
Quran etc. before going to bed.
If you have a problem with
masturbating in the shower, set a short
timer and try getting out before that timer
goes off.
Consider the long term effects of your
masturbation. Develop healthy habits and
love the feeling of daily success.
It's easier to stop if you are in
relationship where your partner can help
you in it. For example, spend time
watching movie, going for shopping or
even going for sports with your partner.
This ensures that the urges are no longer
there and you will eventually forget about
it.
Add
Tips
Some video games, films, and even
books contain sexual material, such as
sexually attractive characters or sexual
activity (kissing, making out or even
making love). So if you play video games
to distract the need, be careful!
Remember that members of the clergy
and medical professionals are human and
susceptible to error, too. If you ask
someone for help and he or she suggests
a remedy you find highly uncomfortable,
seek a second opinion